bookmarkrole Chapter 620 I'm going to hug each bride and start licking the bat mites like crazy
Chapter 620 I'm going to hug each bride and start licking the bat mites like crazy
Chapter 620 I'm going to hug every bride and start licking them like crazy! The bat mite suffers a crushing defeat.
What is the most difficult part of kissing a huge, ugly monster with a face full of bone spurs?
If Chen Tao were to speak, he believes the biggest difficulty likely lies in not being close to the person quickly enough.
I was coy and hesitant when kissing Wonder Woman, but I pouted and attacked when kissing Doomsday.
This is definitely a skill. He knew that the moment he started to pout, he had to control every tiny expression on his face to prevent the bat mite from thinking, "He might not do that."
But Chen Tao soon realized that he was throwing a flirtatious glance at a blind man. The bat mite was already going crazy when she saw him trying to kiss her, and didn't really notice whether he was faking it or if he actually intended to do so.
In the 5th dimension.
With a loud bang, the bat mite appeared on a huge stage, below which was a massive crowd of Batman fans.
These fans were dressed in all sorts of Batman costumes, and there was even one cosplaying as the Batman Who Laughs. One of the Batmen was even holding a small skeleton.
This is a world of imagination, and these fans are not real people; they are merely reflections of the imaginations of beings from other dimensions in the fifth dimension.
For example, this black man in front of us is wearing a bat-shaped headgear and a gold chain around his neck, the kind of necklace hip-hop artists wear.
He must be a huge fan of Batman from some parallel universe, and also a Black rapper.
At this moment, he was dreaming, and his imagination was summoned from the lower dimensions by the bat mite, forming this image in the fifth dimension. He was unaware that he had traveled to the fifth dimension in his dream, simply taking it as a small outpouring of his imagination at night.
For example, this Batman fan holding a little skeleton dressed as a maid...
The bat mite created this scene in an attempt to get feedback from other Batman fans.
Behind him, a huge screen displayed the following:
Five Dimensions World's 267th Annual Comics, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Horror, Anime, Japanese Anime, Games, Action Figures, Role-Playing, Retro Toys, Card Collecting Games, Popular Culture, and Coin Toy Exhibition.
Inside this enormous hall, resembling a press conference, created by bat mites, a Batman fan holding a small skull figure raised his hand.
The bat mite flew to the podium intending to sit down, but quickly realized the position was too low. So he snapped his fingers, and soon a bunch of Batman comics appeared on his seat to elevate it, helping the bat mite maintain his authoritative position as speaker.
Oh, by the way, those comics are:
Batman: Year One
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
Batman: The Killing Joke
Batman: Endgame
Batman: Dark Victory
The Fate of the Cape Warriors
"Cough cough cough." The bat mite tested the microphone in the huge conference room and then made a loud noise:
"Okay, what's your question?"
He asked.
The Batman holding the skull figure stood up from the crowd, surrounded by other fans of all shapes and sizes, dressed as Batman, making it look like a comic convention.
The bat mite noticed that he had deliberately drawn two slightly upward-sloping smile lines on the corners of his mouth, which immediately made the bat mite's gaze dangerous.
Damn it, you're not cosplaying as the Batman Who Laughs, are you? That's blasphemous!
This is a gathering of Batman fans, and the Batman Who Laughs is sitting at the kids' table.
He saw the Batman fan slightly raise the skull figurine in his hand and smile.
The gaze of the bat mite has become even more dangerous.
However, what the fan said soon changed his opinion of the other person immediately.
"I think the most suitable role for Batman is a resolute urban detective."
The Batman fan holding the skeleton kept saying that as he spoke, his glasses and Batman mask kept falling off his face, and he had to repeatedly adjust his glasses with his hands. He was also holding a small skeleton toy, which made it look like he was constantly kissing the skeleton.
Uh, that's a bit perverted.
But his words were full of Batman originalism and sharp criticism of lawful justice:
"But now you're sending him to deal with the wedding and the Bride of Doomsday? Sorry, this isn't the Batman I envision!"
Batman originalism refers to the movement of Batman believers who attempt to return the image of Batman to its original beliefs. Simply put, they argue that "if he is even slightly unlike Batman, then he is not Batman."
Therefore, within the Batman fan community, they occupy the moral high ground. If they point out that the Batman you like is not the real Batman, then most people will be speechless and have to agree with what they say.
The fan with the skull costume made a statement that sparked a murmur among the crowd. Behind the Batman Mite's podium, a group of Batman fans not dressed in Batman costumes were discussing amongst themselves.
"...He might be right, we need to test it out..."
"...If that's the case, then perhaps it's possible..."
The bat mite turned its pleading gaze to a man on stage who looked somewhat like Frank Miller.
(Note: Frank Miller, writer for Batman comics)
He then quickly received a note from the other party.
The bat mite hurriedly took it, then snapped its fingers, conjured a pair of glasses, put them on its upturned nose, and then read aloud mercilessly:
"Batman's rich history allows for multiple interpretations, and this is certainly a more relaxed version, but it doesn't stray from the core character: a city and world protector who can never retire."
Batman added, "And without a dad and mom, that's Batman."
Batman's remarks caused another uproar, so he finally snapped: "I think Batman is Batman!"
Such a chaotic and neutral statement drew boos from the audience, but then the bat mite vanished into the fifth dimension with a bang, leaving behind only one sentence:
"But I don't think Batman would kiss Doomsday, damn it!"
Amidst the cacophony of Batman fans discussing and cursing, Bat Mite reappears in reality. Just before Batman is about to kiss Doomsday's bride, Bat Mite delivers an uppercut that sends poor Doomsday flying like a comet.
This Doomsday from the main universe is a dangerous opponent. At the peak of his new role, he is about to kill Superman in the main universe's timeline, but he is still as fragile as a baby in front of a five-dimensional being like the Bat Mite.
With a bang, the Bride of Doomsday, who had fallen to the ground, vanished without a trace.
"Where did he go?" Chen Tao asked.
"They've gone back to where they came from." The bat mite said like a defeated rooster, "Don't worry, I'll fix the disrupted timelines and send them back to the moment they left. The new timelines that formed after they left will be erased, the hyper-time flow will be fixed, and there won't be any problems."
"That's good." Chen Tao nodded, then asked, "So, his wedding dress...?"
The bat mite stiffened for a moment.
Then he exploded on the spot for a moment, and then reappeared: "It's fixed, but there was no need for me to do it. His clothes fell off during the teleportation and he wasn't wearing them. Superman treated them as clothes scattered in the ruins."
"Batman, you didn't have to ruin the script I prepared..."
The two of them were still talking. Both Chen Tao and Bat Mite had thought of everything, but they both forgot one thing.
Erase the memories of the Doomsday Bride.
Chen Tao naturally assumed that since the bat mite said he would arrange everything, he wouldn't forget to erase his memory, right?
The bat mite also naturally assumed that if he forgot something important, given Batman's intelligence, he would definitely remind him directly, just like before, right? Then he could remember it. If even a superhero like Batman forgot something, it couldn't be anything important.
But unfortunately...
Both of them thought so, and so they temporarily forgot about this important issue.
"Does this suit your image? You completely..."
The bat mite was still talking, completely unaware of the dangerous look in Chen Tao's eyes. The next second, he was enveloped in red bat speed force and appeared like lightning beside the penguin bride who was still trapped inside the transparent barrier.
With a single reach, the barrier created by the bat mites was breached—the very barrier the bat mites themselves had taught him.
He mentioned the unfortunate penguin bride, then opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue.
Under the influence of the power of the Crimson of All Beings, his tongue instantly grew longer and larger, standing upright like a giant mattress.
Seeing this terrifying thing raised high and licking him, the Penguin Bride was almost scared to death. He struggled desperately, and then Chen Tao "accidentally" let him escape from his hands. Instantly, the two of them chased and fled, crawling all over the ground.
The tongue grew larger and longer, covered in saliva and barbs, so much so that even Darkseid's bride, who was not far away, turned pale, her obsidian-black face turning yellowish.
Bat Mite yelled "No more teeth!" as it sent the Penguin Bride back, then turned around and saw Batman trying to lick Two-Face Bride.
Bat Mite rushed over to prevent Two-Face's bride from suffering the tragic fate of bathing in saliva, and he loudly berated Batman:
"Hey, you can't do something so disgusting! It's not like you're Batman!"
But Batman wouldn't listen to a word he said. Soon, Lex Luthor's bride in a certain timeline of the main universe became the new victim. Batman desperately tried to stop this horrific act before Batman's sticky tongue could lick Luthor's smooth, hard-boiled egg, but what followed was an even deeper hell.
During this period, some brides did try to resist. For example, Darkseid Bride, the weakest Darkseid that the bat mite had found in the history of the main universe, could not accept being licked by a sticky tongue.
He directly burned off half of Chen Tao's tongue with Omega rays, but Chen Tao quickly severed his own tongue and then licked him again. Darkseid could not have done this in a normal confrontation, but Chen Tao insisted on fighting in this abnormal way of licking people, so it took him a little more effort.
And so, Chen Tao licked one, and the bat mite sent one back. In the end, he even complained that such a big tongue was too slow to lick, so he controlled the tongue to grow many small tentacles and licked seven or eight different villainous brides at the same time. He wasn't worried that the bat mites wouldn't be able to send them over; the only problem was that they didn't want to send them over.
Finally, Chen Tao withdrew his supernatural powers, leaving only the bat mite sitting dejectedly on top of the empty pile of protective shields.
"It's all gone, all gone! Look what you've done! My carefully prepared wedding and my meticulously prepared script are all ruined now."
The bat mite turned its head, and like a wronged child, large tears welled up in its eyes.
I feel so wronged.
He kindly helped Batman write a perfect, fun script, but Batman completely ungrateful, doing something disgusting to destroy it. He didn't like it at all!
At this moment, the wedding scene he conjured up was still the same, but the bride was gone. It was truly heartbreaking.
"Hey, hehe, bat mites."
Then the bat mite heard Batman say to him, "If you truly respect my abilities..."
"Oh, of course, of course, you know I'm Batman." Batman was overjoyed. He had just been saddened by the fact that he had forced the brides to be teleported back, but now he was happy.
"You don't want me to waste them on meaningless fights, do you?"
"Uh, yes, yes." The bat mite raised its eyebrows slightly.
"And you're my fan, and also Batman's best friend and helper, right?"
"Yes... that's right."
"So we both agree that you should stop this behavior and then join me in dealing with the real enemy, right?"
"Yes, but I still think you need my help to come up with a great script, and then strike..."
Before the bat mite could finish speaking, Chen Tao handed him a green bat dart.
"Here's an authentic batarang for you. It's a one-of-a-kind batarang from the Kind Laughing Batman, unique in the multiverse. It even has my autograph on it, with 'Batman' written on it."
"make a deal!"
The bat mite grinned and took the dart. Then, it snapped its fingers, and all the wedding equipment on site vanished in an instant.
"So where should we go?"
He asked happily.
Thank God, it's finally over.
Chen Tao thought to himself that he spent most of his time dealing with the grotesque little bat mite from the fifth dimension, and wondered what kind of trouble the Laughing Bat and the Emperor Clown would cause him this time.
But I finally...
But just as he thought of this, he turned his head and saw the furious bat mite.
"I can hear what you're thinking."
"And I... got angry."
(End of this chapter)