bookmarkrole Chapter 120 The Master's "Primordial Qi"
Chapter 120 The Master's "Primordial Qi"
The moment Master Ma sat down in the "truth chair," his posture was extremely elegant.
He stood with his legs slightly apart, his hands resting naturally on his knees, his chin slightly raised at a 45-degree angle, and a serene smile that seemed to have seen through the world as he looked at the camera.
The photographer behind him immediately zoomed in, giving him a close-up shot that exuded "masterful demeanor".
"Dear viewers," Master Ma said to the camera with a strong voice, "today we have come to this so-called 'celebrity clinic' in Changsha City to expose the veil of pseudoscience. What 'True Word Tea' and what 'divine bone setting' are nothing but child's play compared to traditional Chinese Qigong."
Wang Minyu didn't say anything, but gave Li Siyuan a wink.
Li Siyuan understood immediately, quietly walked behind the counter, and turned the microcurrent knob leading to the chair up half a notch from the "slight numbness" setting to "tingling".
"Sizzle—"
An extremely faint electrical hum could be heard.
Master Ma's eyebrows twitched suddenly, and his previously calm smile instantly froze.
He felt a tingling sensation travel up his tailbone to the top of his head, like tens of thousands of ants dancing in his crotch.
But he is a seasoned veteran, with excellent control over his facial expressions.
He took a deep breath, focusing his energy in his lower abdomen (actually, he clenched his sphincter muscles), and forcibly suppressed the urge to jump up.
"Interesting." Master Ma tried to remain calm, but a fine layer of sweat appeared on his forehead. "The 'energy field' of this chair is very chaotic. It seems that the feng shui of this place is not good, and the yin energy is too heavy."
"Master has a good eye," Wang Minyu said with a forced smile. "A spy sat in this chair a couple of days ago; it might have picked up some bad luck. Since Master has the protective energy of Hunyuan Qi, why not have a cup of tea to calm your nerves?"
Zhao Na walked over carrying a glass of dark purple liquid.
That was a "special drink" made from concentrated extracts of agave leaves, and Wang Minyu even added some bitter melon juice made by Pierre, making the taste a result of painstaking effort.
"This tea..." Master Ma sniffed it, nearly knocking over from the strange smell. "The color is bizarre; it must be poisonous!"
"This is the 'Nine-Turn Rejuvenating Soup'," Wang Minyu said with a straight face, "It's a cure for all kinds of boasting without thinking, oh no, it's a cure for qi deficiency. Since the master said he came here to exchange skills, he wouldn't be afraid to even drink a cup of tea, would he? There are tens of thousands of people watching this live stream."
Master Ma glanced at the red light on the camera, realizing he was in a difficult situation.
He thought to himself, "I've been traveling the world for decades, what kind of fake medicine haven't I tried? This lousy tea can't possibly kill me, can it?"
"Drink it! I'm immune to all poisons!" Master Ma picked up the cup and drank it all in one gulp.
The bitter, spicy, earthy liquid slid down his esophagus and exploded in his stomach.
The effects of the agave began to impact his cerebral cortex, which had been shut down by self-hypnosis.
"How are you feeling?" Wang Minyu asked.
Master Ma closed his eyes and gathered his energy. He wanted to say "That's all there is to it," but a strange image suddenly appeared in his mind: five years ago, he was teaching an old lady to practice Qigong in the park, and as a result, he was chased by a teddy bear and made to climb a tree.
"I feel... a bit like I need to pee," Master Ma blurted out.
The scene was completely silent. The photographer's hand trembled slightly.
"Cough cough!" Master Ma suddenly opened his eyes, covering his mouth in alarm. What happened? Why is his mouth leaking air?
"Feeling the urge to urinate is normal; it's just kidney deficiency," Wang Minyu calmly added. "Master, you've been holding your urine too much these past few years to maintain your 'indestructible' persona, haven't you? How's your prostate?"
"Nonsense!" Master Ma roared, trying to regain his composure. "My kidney energy is abundant; I can do it seven times a night..."
"You get up seven times a night, right?" Wang Minyu interrupted him, his eyes sharp as knives. "You have dark circles under your eyes, you walk unsteadily, and there's fluid buildup in your knees. That's from kneeling for too long. You must have knelt down to beg for sponsorships from your sugar daddies quite a bit, right?"
"You...you..." Master Ma pointed at Wang Minyu, trembling with anger.
Just then, the effects of the True Word Grass, combined with the electric current in the chair, completely shattered his psychological defenses.
"Yes! So what if I knelt down?!" Master Ma suddenly broke down and shouted, his voice trembling with tears. "Do you know how hard it is to swindle people these days? Before, you could easily scam tens of thousands with just a few practice moves, but now these young people are glued to their phones, and a quick internet search exposes them all! Do you know how hard it is for me?!"
The live stream chat exploded instantly:
[Holy crap! It self-destructed?]
This master is truly a man of character!
[Is this the legendary Truth Tea? Where's the link? Link here!]
Master Ma didn't stop. He poured out all the hardships he had endured over the years, like beans spilling from a bamboo tube: "My 'Lightning Five-Fold Whip' move was actually learned by swatting mosquitoes at home! And that 'Striking the Bull from Afar' move—that bull was hired, fitted with an electric shock collar. I just waved my hand and my assistant pressed a remote control! Who believes in real kung fu these days? Everyone just watches for fun. I'm just a comedian!"
The assistant behind him turned green and frantically gestured for him to shut up, but Master Ma couldn't stop.
"And this chair!" Master Ma wiggled his hips, a strange expression on his face. "Although the electric shocks are really uncomfortable, it's... kind of comfortable. Do I have masochistic tendencies?"
"Alright, that's a wrap." Wang Minyu waved to Su Qing.
Su Qing walked over, ripped the microphone off Master Ma, and turned off the power to the "Truth Chair".
Without the electric stimulation, and after that outburst, Master Ma slumped in his chair like a lump of mud, his eyes vacant.
"Take him away," Wang Minyu said to his petrified assistant. "Go back and give him plenty of mung bean soup to help him detoxify. Also, tell him to stop pretending to be a master and switch to stand-up comedy; I think he has talent."
The assistant, feeling like he'd been granted a pardon, helped Master Ma, who was still muttering "I am a clown," and rushed out of the pharmacy like a refugee.
Wang Minyu stretched contentedly as he watched the soaring popularity in the live stream and the rapidly increasing emotional value in the system's backend (mainly from Master Ma's breakdown and the audience's laughter).
"Master, this Mantra Tea is too potent!" Li Siyuan looked at the pot of Mantra Grass with awe in his eyes. "Who will dare to cause trouble here after this?"
"This thing is a double-edged sword." Wang Minyu tapped Li Siyuan on the head. "It's a mirror that reveals the true nature of bad people, but it's a scene of social annihilation when used on our own people. From now on, lock this plant in a safe, and no one is allowed to touch it except me."
Just then, the wind chimes at the door rang again.
The man who came in this time was a middle-aged man dressed simply and wearing thick glasses.
He was carrying a briefcase and looked like an ordinary office worker.
But Wang Minyu keenly noticed that the first thing this person did upon entering was not to look at the doctor or the environment, but to stare intently at the business license on the wall.
"Excuse me, who is in charge?" The middle-aged man pushed up his glasses, his tone rigid and serious. "I'm from the Municipal Health Supervision Bureau. We received a report from the public that you are practicing medicine illegally and using prohibited drugs here. This is my identification. Please cooperate with the inspection."
The air in the pharmacy froze instantly.
Guan Shan subconsciously tightened his grip on the rubber roller, while Su Qing's scalpel spun around between her fingertips.
Pierre poked his head out from the kitchen, holding a cleaver.
Wang Minyu smiled. He stood up and slowly straightened his white coat.
"Another report?" He walked up to the middle-aged man, but instead of checking his identification, he activated his [Aura Observation] technique.
[Patient: Zhao Yan]
[Occupation: Senior Health Inspector]
[Symptoms: Severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, decision-making difficulties, and neurogenic stomach pain caused by prolonged excessive worry about rules and details.]
[Current Status: Extremely conflicted. He's torn between checking the pharmacy first or the overweight chef who seems to be violating regulations.]
"Section Chief Zhao, right?" Wang Minyu pointed to the pot of Agave 'True Words' that hadn't been put away yet. "The inspection isn't urgent. I see you're frowning and have a slight stomachache. Are you struggling with what to eat for lunch? How about having a cup of tea first?"
Zhao Yan was stunned for a moment, looking at the cup of "poison" that was glowing with purple light, and instinctively wanted to refuse.
But his damned OCD made him suddenly realize that the angle at which the cup was placed was not perfectly parallel to the edge of the table.
He reached out, trying to straighten the cup.
"Don't touch it!" Wang Minyu suddenly shouted.
Zhao Yan was startled, his hand trembled, and his fingertips touched the sharp leaf.
A drop of blood seeped out and dripped into the soil.
The agave plant, which had been quiet, suddenly seemed like a shark that had smelled blood; its leaves abruptly opened, and the originally purple veins instantly turned scarlet.
"Damn it." Wang Minyu rubbed his forehead. "This thing... mutated when it comes into contact with blood."